Sleight of Blog

Have you ever been with a guy who has told you that he is just not interested in marriage but within six months after the two of you break up, he has gotten married to another girl? There you are, sitting on the couch holding a cup of hot chocolate, sobbing and asking your dog just what went wrong.

I don't like to write in general terms about people but there are actually a few things - I mean specific things - that most men look for in the search for a partner to marry.

For example, you might think it's cute that when you meet a guy, you surrender all of your friends and all of your life and commit everything to him and him alone. For the guy it is simply not true. Most times a man will prefer to be with a woman who has a life of her own, who tells him "sorry darling but I'm going out with my girlfriends tonight". That doesn't mean a woman who totally excludes him from her social life but simply a woman who can function with and without him. I think that's important to a lot of guys when they consider what kind of woman to marry.

Another important thing is to find a woman who will help the guy open up emotionally, especially in bed! For some men it's very hard to discuss how sex makes them feel emotionally. You might ask why would we want to discuss that? Well, because communication - even when it comes to sex -is very important in any relationship.

Men want to marry a woman who bring out the best in them.

A supportive woman does not equal a slave driver or a drill sergeant but simply a woman who loves her man enough to tell him how proud she is of him and to help him achieve his goals in life. Honesty is very important when it comes to this. I'm not talking about praising your guy if he's lazy, drinking too much or out on the town every night when he has other responsibilities he should be seeing to. If that's the case, it's a good thing to be honest and tell him "Honey, you drink too much". "Honey, I think you should..." and so on. Most men will see this as a sign that this woman really cares. It's a matter of being INTERESTED in him.

It is important for both men and women to be with a partner who evolves. When we are with a static person who shows no curiosity and has no plans for the future, we end up getting frustrated with each other. So for a guy, if he sees that a woman has goals for her life and she is excited about things - a hobby for example - he is more likely to see her as a long-term partner.

A final thing I'm going to mention - and this might be a bit delicate for some - a man often looks for a woman who will take charge in bed! And how do I know this? Because I have yet to meet a guy who doesn't feel that way. Men want women who make love with a passion and who are interested in keeping the fire glowing in the bedroom. If  a woman sometimes takes charge in bed, I suppose it takes the pressure off the guy for a bit. The responsibility for a good and fulfilling sex life is not his alone anymore.

You men out there might have read this entry and you're either nodding in agreement or you are totally disagreeing with the statements I just made. In either case , I'd love for you to comment on this entry ! Tell me, what kind of woman is marriage material for you?

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